First, get the image of the homeless, cracked-out, heavily sedated individual on the street out of your head when you think of someone who is an addict. We need to start there.
A huge struggle in getting anyone to accept that addiction is a part of their brain chemistry is their faulty understanding of what addicts actually are.
An addict can be the millionaire working in tech, the doctor performing surgery on you, the teacher teaching your kids, or the pastor preaching the gospel—addicts are EVERYONE.
The Science
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that addiction is not a morality issue. This is true—to an extent. I’m going to focus on the truth of that statement and leave the "extent" for another post. That makes for an entirely different conversation where I’m bound to get a lot of pushback, and I just don’t have the patience for that today.
Addiction is a chronic disorder where a person becomes physically and mentally dependent on a substance, behavior, or even an emotion. Despite knowing the negative effects—on their health, relationships, and responsibilities—they continue to engage in the behavior. Addiction hijacks the brain’s reward system, making the person crave the substance, activity, or feeling at the expense of everything else in their life.
What chemically happens in your brain is what creates the addiction.
We have this fancy area in our brain called the Limbic System (I wrote a post about it—go check it out in my mental health highlights to learn more). It’s essentially where our memories are stored, and our feelings are created. When we create a great feeling (by engaging in a behavior or activity), our limbic system stores that behavior/activity and reminds us of what we need to do to feel that amazing feeling again, thus creating a desired pathway.
Inception of Addiction
Usually, we experience an unwanted feeling, so we participate in an activity—drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, porn, etc.—to replace the undesired emotion with a more desirable one. The limbic system takes note of that activity, and now you have a memory of how to feel better. This memory is what we call a pathway.
For example: You had a hard day at work. You come home stressed, and you don’t like that you’re feeling anxious. You decide to pop that THC gummy your friend passed to you over the weekend to help you relax. You do, and now you’re feeling great. Congratulations, you just created a pathway in your limbic system that’s forever imprinted. You can now easily access this more desirable feeling in the future when you feel stressed. The more you engage in this behavior, the clearer and more dominant that pathway becomes.
Soon, it becomes a reflex—kind of like Pavlov’s Law. You feel/see/hear/sense something undesirable, and immediately your reflex is to do the thing that makes you feel better. Welcome to addiction.
Now, this isn’t exclusive to drugs, sex, alcohol, or gambling. Remember, it’s the feeling you’re trying to adjust. And sometimes, we even crave feelings that most people find undesirable.
For example: You grew up in a chaotic, abusive household—verbally, mentally, physically—take your pick, it doesn’t matter. You’re so used to someone shouting at you, shouting at someone else, isolation, and/or constant insults. This creates a baseline of heightened anxiety. You grow up and move into your own place. But because of the calm and peace in your home, without the dysfunction of your family present, you seek dysfunction in your friendships and intimate relationships. Why? Because you have pathways in your limbic system that remind you to seek discomfort over calm. You, my friend, are addicted to chaos.
Regardless of what other medical professionals may tell you, I want you to remember this one thing: addiction is the dominant pathway in your brain, established by feelings—whether desired or undesired despite the consequences.
Neuroplasticity
This is where I’ve adjusted my beliefs about addicts. I used to strongly believe that addicts remain addicts for life, which is why recovery requires constant daily work. I’ve since changed my position because I now understand neuroplasticity better.
Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's ability to change and adapt throughout a person’s life. This means the brain can reorganize itself by forming new connections between brain cells, or neurons. These changes can occur in response to new experiences, learning, or even damage to the brain.
The pathways created in the brain from repetitive behaviors that I explained earlier—that’s neuroplasticity. The good news is that neuroplasticity also means the brain can heal. With the right support and treatment, the brain can slowly rebuild healthier pathways, helping people recover from addiction and regain control over their lives.
I don’t necessarily feel that addicts are “doomed” for the rest of their lives. With repetitive treatment, upkeep, and support, many addicts (of any kind) can find freedom in healthier patterns of behavior. However, those old pathways are still there, so engaging in old behaviors can certainly awaken unwanted actions or feelings. Be aware of what your body is capable of and choose wisely. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can engage in behaviors (or with people) that may cause you to relapse.
Takeaway
Stop being so defensive when I, or another professional, call you an addict or suggest that you are one. We aren’t picturing the stereotypical “bum on the street.” We’re addressing the person in front of us. And more than likely, that person is harming or hurting themselves in ways they aren’t aware of.
As a therapist, I always want change for you, but the most important piece in therapy is your desire to change. Without it, what’s the point?
Step back from the belief that addiction is only about substances. Look at the patterns in your life that result in unwanted behaviors. Examine the areas where you can’t understand why you keep doing something, knowing the negative consequences. Get into therapy to understand how to re-wire and train your brain to create healthier pathways.
Most importantly: desire change. Without it, all your efforts will be fruitless.
Be well. Be healthy. Be happy.
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